Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
