new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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