I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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