I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
