You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
