goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
