i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
