Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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