dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
