it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
