Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
