So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
