he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
