Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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