i think my mom watched the whole time
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
