I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
