life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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