1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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