On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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