I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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