any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
