u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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