sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
