just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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