john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
tell me about the eggs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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