Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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