its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
