yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
