he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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