just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize