He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
