is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
