3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My vagina just recognized that song.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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