Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
