Im at strip club and am horny
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
