bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
