I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
