ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
