Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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