is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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