We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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