I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
