so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
