we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
