did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
this will be a night to untag.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
