I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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