well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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