And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
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Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
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Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think my moral compass just broke
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