It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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