I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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