I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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