I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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