Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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