sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
