I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
