Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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