I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
