wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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