Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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