she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
