I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Randomize
