is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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