That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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