Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
