You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
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Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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